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Description: Oweryagoin Orright?
Last Update: 12:39:52 04/19/2005
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Additional Info
First Fetched: 00:16:12 01/31/2004
Last Updated: 12:39:52 04/19/2005
Headlines
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Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. Only it's his light bulb when he's done.
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| 12:28:49 April 19, 2005, Tuesday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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In the lead-up to Anzac Day, the SMH is running a series of human interest stories. On Sunday it was about the very first "Anzac": The first Anzac to hit the beach at Gallipoli was a tough, northern NSW canecutter named Joseph Stratford. Letters and records reveal Corporal Stratford was credited by witnesses as being the first [...]
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| 12:00:26 April 19, 2005, Tuesday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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Looks like (a) a slow news day in the UK and (b) the Tories have run out of ideas. According to this story, the Tories are using a catch-phrase "borrowed" from a children's program: Australia's own Bananas in Pyjamas have been drawn into the British election campaign, with a surprising allegation that their signature "Are you [...]
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| 11:30:00 April 19, 2005, Tuesday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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On the one hand, it looks like the UN is admitting that the illegal immigrants detained in Nauru are not legitimate asylum seekers. On the other hand, having admitted that their claims are not valid, the UN still wants Australia to take them. According to this story: The Federal Government will be asked this week to find [...]
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| 11:00:26 April 19, 2005, Tuesday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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There is an interesting story in The Age about a budding entrepreneur: An internet car parking scheme, said to be the first in the world, is linking Melbourne commuters with empty driveways and car parks. A financial boost for the owners, the scheme has attracted hundreds of listings in just a few weeks... Last month, Melbourne entrepreneur Francis [...]
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| 23:30:04 April 18, 2005, Monday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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How would we measure hail without golf balls?
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| 23:00:59 April 18, 2005, Monday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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Drinking when we are not thirsty and making love at all seasons, madam: that is all there is to distinguish us from the other animals. -- Pierre de Beaumarchais, "Le Marriage de Figaro"
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| 16:00:53 April 18, 2005, Monday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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Enough already. Every one wants to know if this was my real birthday cake. Actually it wasn't... Have a slice of this mango cake instead: The electronic gadget used to be a candle that played Happy Birthday. When we ran out of candle, I pulled the thing apart and worked out how to short the heat sensor so [...]
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| 14:30:00 April 18, 2005, Monday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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Maybe just as well I didn't take the family to the footy on Sunday - the Swans lost 11.13 (79) to the Crows 18.12 (120). That leaves the Swans in 8th place on the ladder - in fact only two teams remain unbeaten - the Weagles and the Kangaroos.
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| 14:00:00 April 18, 2005, Monday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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Breda's Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. Owen's Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Howden's Law: You remember you have to mail a letter only [...]
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| 12:30:20 April 18, 2005, Monday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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According to Condoleezza Rice (as quoted in the SMH), the UN needs to be overhauled: The United Nations needs to be overhauled "to survive as a vital force", US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said in the strongest criticism yet from a senior US official amid a debate on UN reform. Dr Rice said John Bolton, a [...]
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| 00:00:44 April 18, 2005, Monday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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At my age, birthdays are time for reflection. When I think about the average life expectancy for an Australian male, especially one with Hashimoto's (and the accompanying weight problems) - I have to admit that time is no longer on my side. In fact, given the way that time seems to pass so quickly, I [...]
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| 23:30:00 April 17, 2005, Sunday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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A judge is ready to go through the day's business and he is very rushed. The first case up involves an elderly Jewish gentleman with a long beard, payes, the works. The judge, without asking a question, says to the clerk, "Get me a translator." Translator shows up and the judge says, "Ask him what his name [...]
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| 23:00:27 April 17, 2005, Sunday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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Behind every great computer sits a skinny little geek.
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| 16:00:33 April 17, 2005, Sunday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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Just like last year, I would like to offer all my readers a slice of birthday cake: Well birthday muffin actually. After all, I need to follow the doctor's orders :-)
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| 12:00:52 April 17, 2005, Sunday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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Apart from having a "quiet" day at home*, I planned to upgrade mysql/php and the server software on the system that hosts this blog. Step one (mysql) went without a hitch, so did step two (php). At that point I was actually starting to think everything would go off without a hitch... Nope. Step three - [...]
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| 11:00:04 April 17, 2005, Sunday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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Ruby's Principle of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Willoughby's Law: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Zadra's Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
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| 04:31:33 April 17, 2005, Sunday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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Another lovely card came from Cindy. Being a flash card, I did my best to grab the highlights: This was followed by a well flung brick that wallops the scientist in the head (despite 24 attempts, I could not snap the right moment to show you the impact of the brick): Followed by the birthday message: As for [...]
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| 17:30:02 April 16, 2005, Saturday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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A number of kind people have wished me a Happy Birthday. The first cab of the rank was Kat (who apologised for being late but was actually early :-)), closely followed by Ravages and then a kind reader (who knows I am a fan of Douglas Adams) send me this:
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| 17:00:48 April 16, 2005, Saturday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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Human beings were created by water to transport it uphill.
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| 16:00:13 April 16, 2005, Saturday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor..... Atheism is a non-prophet organization. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. What if there were no hypothetical [...]
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| 13:30:33 April 16, 2005, Saturday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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One day a man was having a conversation with God when his whole life flashed before his eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult periods of his life there were only one set of footprints. He asked [...]
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| 13:00:38 April 16, 2005, Saturday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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Cannon's Karmic Law: If you lie to the boss that you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre. O'Brian's Variation Law: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Bell's Theorem: When the [...]
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| 12:30:48 April 16, 2005, Saturday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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AMAZING BUT TRUE ... If all the salmon caught in Canada in one year were laid end to end across the Sahara Desert, the smell would be absolutely awful.
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| 16:00:23 April 15, 2005, Friday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, [...]
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| 14:30:43 April 15, 2005, Friday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP." It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why [...]
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| 14:00:05 April 15, 2005, Friday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are low? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money in your account? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is [...]
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| 13:30:17 April 15, 2005, Friday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to hospital. While on the operating table she had a near-death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital [...]
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| 13:00:02 April 15, 2005, Friday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Kovac's Conundrum: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
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| 12:30:31 April 15, 2005, Friday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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| 12:00:44 April 15, 2005, Friday (PDT) |
Source: G'day Mate! |
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